Craft day!

Today was craft day!

I had seen an idea on pinterest to use old glass bottles to make into candle holders. I went to the Dollar tree and bought come candle vases as well as flower vases.

After I got them I chose different colors or acrylic paint and put the paint on the inside of the jars and swirled it around until most of the entire jar was covered. It took me a while to figure out what kind of technique worked so that I would not have a ton of pain just left over sitting in the bottom of the vase not drying.

Here are some finished product pictures

I have also been creating a picture frame for my parents 28th wedding anniversary.

I got a wooden frame and painted it with red acrylic paint. I covered the glass with tape so I wouldn't paint the glass. I got two letters and painted them separately and then gorilla glued them to the frame. I added a few flowers to add some design to it. I am waiting for it to dry so that I can add the final touch...

Final Picture to come...

Glimpse of Heaven on Earth

I was talking to a friend the other day about feeling isolated because of feeling inadequate. Isn't that how most of us feel or have felt?

I had the privilege of going to life counseling early this summer and I learned so much while I was there. Each person has three so called "muscles," your parent, adult, and child. The parent is what tells you "should, could, would, have to, got to, need too..etc as well as telling you what truth is. The adult is able to logically reason through things using facts and data. The child is the part of you that enjoys life, who has fun, who plays, and who has been believing the lies you have been told you entire life. You grew up with parents who at one point in time determined if you were going to live or not. They fed you, clothed you, educated you, fed you spiritually or not etc. Most if not all of us got a message from them (Let me add that they probably DID NOT want you to feel the way that you feel, but we are flawed and this stuff happens)...and what that message is, is different from person to person. Some were told either out right  or subconsciously that they weren't good enough, or were always in the way or they couldn't mess up or everything depends on them or they are this certain way and cant change.... ALL DETRIMENTAL!

When we believe these lies we begin to let our child rule our life on how we are feeling, not on what is true. This is the viscous cycle that tells us we are inadequate and because we feel this way we tend to isolate ourselves and we feel even more alone and unseen by anyone around us.

We all want to be seen and known. It occurred to me that this is how GOD created us to be: Seen and Known completely by him. I think this is why God gives each of us a handful of people who really see us and know us. It is his taste of heaven. God's gift to us on earth. He wants to give up a hope for the future so he gives us a taste of what it is life to been seen, baggage and all, and loved for exactly who we are.

So I want to encourage all of us to reject the FEELING that we are all alone and not worth being seen. It is a LIE and not truth. Taste the hope of heaven. The Bible tells us, "taste and see that the Lord is good." He has not left us here alone on earth!

Baking Day

I just made the best Chocolate Chip Cookies...and they are Gluten Free. You might not believe me but it is true. I found it on a blog and did it myself... Here is the blog..

 http://www.makeit-loveit.com/2011/03/gluten-free-cookiesshared.html

I am also making Baked Apple Chips. TO make: Apple and Cinnamon. Core the apple and slice thinly. Put waxed paper on a cookie sheet. Bake at 250 for 2 hours... first hour on one side and then flip over to the other to bake evenly. The cook about an hour, until browned. Here is the before picture.

 

So,  it took a bit longer than expected. the first time they cooked too fast so I turned it to 250 degrees and it took longer but they came out great. They were crispy, but still a little soft and moist. You could cook them longer if you wanted...

FINISHED PRODUCT! SOO GOOD!

The kitchen smells amazing.

Running out of control

"Surrender to me your heart and you will do things you have never dreamed!"
Running out of control!
"Your life is not your own, love."
Why is it when I look around I see everything that is wrong? Everyone who is doing the wrong thing? Everyone who is longing for justice? Everyone who is hurt and desperately wants to be healed?
"Seek me and you will find me."
"Pray like crazy and obey me when you don't want to!"
I am running out of control. I cant control anything! It keeps slipping through my finger tips.
"Your life is not your own."
I know it isn't.
I'm afraid.
I am excited.
I am sad.
I am a roller coaster.
I am healing.
I am growing.
I am screaming.
I am holding on until you bless me!


I know miracles happen. I have experienced it. I have experienced the beginning of healing! You are healer. You are love. You are protector. You are Sun. You are life. You are air. You are alpha and omega, beginning and the end. You are the ancient of days. Praise you Father for all you have done. You are endurance. You are Encouragement. You are peace. You are blessing. You are heaven. You are calm. You are laughter. You are friend. You are song. You are master. You are leader. You are SAVIOR.

Your Faith has made you HEALED

Over the last few years I have been battling Rheumatoid Arthritis. For those of you who dont know what that is...1. it is not only for old people (which is what i used to think). 2. it is an Autoimmune disease where basically for some reason unknown to me your body decides to attack itself. 3. it makes your joints swell up and makes some days impossible to bend...there are horrendous pictures if you want to google. 4. it makes your body feel like crap. 5. once you have it...there is no cure...that we know of. Basically it sucks.

There is a passage in scripture where A blind man cries out to Jesus and says he wants to see him. Jesus replies, "“Go... your faith has healed you.” Immediately he received his sight and followed Jesus along the road. I know miracles happen, because I have heard about them from people I know. But I've always wondered...could it happen to me? Do I just have to believe enough? That sounds silly...God can do whatever he pleases. He is the God of the universe. He doesn't have to prove himself to me in order to be real. But I wonder if this is what other people with other diseases...like cancer or well whatever else, think about. Do they ever wonder if a miracle could happen to them? Does it make a difference if you believe more than another person? Or are we not "healed" physically so that we can be healed spiritually? Does he not makes us all better because that is not where our lives lead?

I know my king sits on a throne in heaven, yet loves the people he created. Its just been something I have been thinking about. I'm sick of the lame answers... the churchy, happy ones. I think everyone knows those. It's so easy to have all the answers when your body is healthy, or you have enough money to buy groceries, or the right guy or girl likes you. Its when the goin gets rough when you don't have any answers that this all counts.

For those of you who are going through a hard patch and there is no light at the end of the tunnel right now, I can sympathize with you. I know what that looks like. I certainly dont have all the answers, and even though I believe in something greater than me, I still ask questions. I am still wanting to figure all this out. One day I will know, but for now I have to be patient and I think for most that is the hardest part. Or for those like me.

For now..waiting patiently.

Where your loved poured out

I have had a lot of time in the car in the last week...driving what seems a million hours to florida can do that to you. On the way home tonight this song began to play...

Lead me to the cross, where your loved poured out
Bring me to my knees, lord i lay me down
Rid me of myself, I belong to you
Lead me to your heart

If you do not know this song look it up on youtube.

This chorus caught me probably for a number of reasons. "Bring me to my knees," caught my attention because the last few months I have been continually brought to my knees..knowing that I cannot take another breath or step or even make it to class without His help.

The biggest thing that caught me was "Rid me of myself, I belong to you." It reminds me of Matthew 5 where Jesus says, "Blessed are the poor in sprit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven." Blessed are the poor in spirit...what is that? I dont believe that jesus is saying that the people we see on the street who are poor, meaning have no place to live, no food are poor in spirit. What I mean is..that is not what he is defining the poor in spirit as...

Poor in spirit are those who recognize how evil the heart is. How morally bankrupt they are, how they dont have it all together...who are tired of themselves so much that they are on their knees begging for Jesus to take it away and fill them with himself. They are saying rid me of myself..my selfish desires, my wants, my everything. I think the poor in spirit are those who recognize their "moral bankruptcy" and are ready to do something about it.

I think I am finally beginning to understand more of what being poor in spirit is. This time as been horribly painful, but now that I have begun to process the last 4 months I am beginning to see what the Lord is slowly showing me. He is showing me that I am bankrupt..that I cannot do anything on my own. My wants and desires are selfish..I have begun to live my life for me and not for him. So he is leading me to the cross...where his love was poured out. He came to earth to live a life that we could not to die a death that I deserve. I know that I am not worthy enough on my own for his Kingdom, but through the power of his grace and sacrifice I am seen as perfect... Imagine that...Perfect.

The beginning of the song begins, Savior I come, quiet my soul...QUIET my soul Lord. He is in the process of quieting and healing, but first he has to break so that he can rebuild it (me) to be who he wants me to be...It is such a hard process...If any of you are there..I cant tell you how much I understand the pain. but remember this..God is our father and our king forever...He knows our every step and is with us every step of the way.

Bottom of the Barrel

Have you ever just felt like you have had enough? Like you just wanna punch the next person who lets you down? Or maybe you just feel like doing nothing because then you don't have to feel? What do you do? I know everyone tells you to pick yourself back up an keep your chin up and live life and just be you...yata yata yata (i think that is a word). But is it ok to be there at the bottom having nothing left for a while? I dont mean forever...well really i dont know how long i mean but is it ok? It is ok to finally recognize that you cant do this on your own that maybe there is something out there that is higher than you who can help you? It is ok to just be?

Just think about it for a few?

Is it ok to be contrary to what the world tells you.. "suck it up, chin up, man up...you'll be fine" and not be fine and admit you aren't fine?

This year as great as it has been has been one of the hardest, darkest years of my life...I've never been more alone in my life. First time to live off campus...ALONE (waiting for my roommate to come in November, but when she got here she ended up being engaged..AWESOMEE for her!! So excited for her but doesn't change the fact that I am alone). First time to be in a relationship of any sort..and yet I still ended up alone on the weekends, contrary to what people might say. First time to have a mentor (Who is incredible and i couldnt ask for anything better) yet when I leave something is still missing.

The theme of this year has been.. LONEliness.

WE so often try to fill that gap with everything...boys, sports, food, beauty, T.V., sleep, alcohol, pot...you name it, we try and fill the whole with it. But I wanna ask you..does it really work? Does it really make you feel complete? Does it make the nights (many nights) you are alone, not so bad? Does it take the ache away when all you really want is someone to talk to? Does it make you feel human again? DOES IT WORK?

I will tell you from my experience that it DOES NOT WORK. Having a boy to call your own does not make you feel complete. Having too much to drink doesn't cut it, eating too much definitely doesn't make you feel more human (other than feeling sick to your stomach). Watching a million movies (living vicariously through the actors and actresses) on friday and saturday nights (while wishing you were somewhere else) doesn't take the ache away and make that hole go away...

So where do you start? At the bottom...I think admitting you are at the bottom is the first step. I mean it is easy to be in denial and keep trying to dig yourself out of the hole that you are in. I think it takes guts to admit that you cannot do this on your own. Im not really sure where to head after admitting it, but i do know that life is a process and sometimes you have to figure out the process of the process...and that can be really crappy at times.

My entire life I have been the one people have leaned on when they couldn't do it themselves...but now I am realizing that I need someone to lean on... there are times in our lives that we need others (someone) to live life on life with us, to help hold us up when we cant do it ourselves. Sometimes we need people to stand in the gap when we cannot do it on our own. I was that for someone this summer and I will tell you it can be the hardest but most peaceful, but HARDEST thing you can ever do. Everyone needs that. Everyone needs to be needed and does need someone as well.

I hold to the truth that God is there through the good times and bad, from before time began. He is on his thrown. NOthing I can do or believe or not believe will change that. He is there to be leaned on and lift the load when I cannot do it on my own. Sometimes, ok well a lot of times it is hard to believe because he is not sitting here in the flesh helping me, but then I look at my life and i can see how it has been dramatically changed by him. I would not be where I am today without him...I know so many people around me that would say that I have made myself who I am. I have climbed the ladder myself and I get through everything myself...but I still disagree. Every time I try "self perfect" or make myself better.. I fail. I fall on my face... Im probably not making any sense. But for those of you who have questions..feel free to ask. I have been here at the bottom and have been on top of the world.

Every day

As most of you dont know, Im a sap...big time. Im that girl who cries when people get married, or a hockey team wins the olympics. I day dream when I hear a song that talks about a man loving a woman or a song talking about a best friend. I am a country music fan inside and out. I have been since 8th grade and I don't think it will stop any time. There is a song sung by Rascal Flatts that is called, Every Day. I am sure whoever the lead singer is was talking about a woman, but when I hear it I think of my best friend. The beginning of the songs starts off by singing is,

" You could've bowed out gracefully, but you didn't. You knew enough to know to leave well enough alone, but you wouldn't. I drive myself crazy tryin' to stay out of my own way. The messes that I make, but my secrets are so safe. The only one who gets me, Yeah, you get me. It's amazing to me"

She is someone who I ALWAYS there for me...even when she knows I have not made the best decision, she is there. No judgement, just there. She has stuck around when anyone else would have left. And when I want to be left alone she sits and waits and brings me out of my dark hole, and for that I am thankful. She can see me and know what to say.... As I started thinking more about all of this I started thinking about all the conversations my dad has had with me recently. I never thought, 8 years ago, that my dad and I could sit in the same room, and not get mad at each other, but now we have been blessed. My dad is one of the wisest men I know. Over the last two years my dad has changed. He is more merciful now that he ever has been. He can listen and give advice (that you might not want to hear) but does it in a loving way. A way that makes you want to listen...for hours maybe. Anyways...he has been telling me a lot about what he has been learning and what it boils down to is God is revealing more and more of himself each day. He is a God who came to earth to live a life that none of us could to die a death that we all should die and now is a risen king. All of that is kind of a hug concept to grasp.

But to bring it back to the song..He could have bowed out gracefully. He could have said, "Sorry dad, I dont want to die this way. there has to be a better way." But no, he went a was beaten beyond recognition and nailed to a cross. He was lain in a tomb for 3 days and on the 3rd was risen form the dead. That just doesnt happen. No one just raises from the dead, but he did with the power of the holy spirit. He gave us each that same holy spirit to live in us when we accept him. The power that raised him from the dead, has the power to eternally change lives. He didn't leave us alone when we tell him to just "get out!" He knows we drive ourselves crazy trying to stay out of our own way but he doesn't care. He is ok with that mess...He says to us, "bring me your mess..give it to me ' for my yoke is easy and my burden is light(matt 11:30)'" SO many times I try and carry it all by myself..oh wait..still doing it. But it is so much harder this way. It is easy to carry a burden with someone else...better to live life on life with someone else. we were made for companionship.

I think I am writing this more to assure myself that this true cause this last semester I have felt like a mess. There have been glimpses of hope but I just want to get out of my own way and just get out. I want to break free. I am tired of trying and hurting and falling and breaking. I know that all of this is a process and life is a painful process so many times but it is through the hard times that we grow the most. Tomorrow is christmas..shoot that makes tonight christmas eve. christmas is not about the stuff we get. It is a time for us to remember that the most important person to ever be born was born on christmas. And I think we need to remember that. I need to remember that.

Merry christmas to you all.

That's her...

“Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on him, who will lie under the stars and listen to your heartbeat, or will stay awake just to watch you sleep... wait for the boy who kisses your forehead, who wants to show you off to the world when you are in sweats, who holds your hand in front of his friends, who thinks you're just as pretty without makeup on. One who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares and how lucky his is to have you.... The one who turns to his friends and says, 'that's her.'”

I think when girls read the quote, we all sigh and the longing in our hearts becomes even greater. Every girl wants this. Every girl wants to be adored and see as "the only one for him. I think after we girls read this quote, we wait a few minutes day dreaming, and then most come crashing back down into reality..." that can never happen to me. That only happens in fairytales or to that girl, but not to me." We have a pity party thinking there is no one like that for us...and then we settle. GIRLs! DONT settle for anything less that this. You are beautiful on the inside and out and for you to settle for mediocre is shorting yourself on something you deserve.

Ya ya i know you have heard that speech a million times. And you are still telling yourself that there is no guy out there like that for you. Well first, stop thinking you aren't worth it! Because you are. If you start treating yourself like you are worth it ( not in a selfish arrogant way) it will rub off and people will start to see you that way. Hold your guy to a higher standard. If you want to be pursued (like we all do) dont call him all the time. If he wants to hang out with you he should have to call you. Im not saying play hard to catch in the annoying way, but dont be that girl who is always calling and txting. Its lame! (I've been there, done that, still do that).

Girls, know that you are a gem. No one determines your self worth but the Lord and you chose if you see yourself the way he does. I am in the process of waiting. As we all wait together, do not lose hope. The lord knows the desires of your heart and he will give them to you in his timing (if they are of him). Dont lose hope. Im in this with you and I know how frustrating it can be...to feel like you are the only one left, or all of your friends are getting married or have boyfriends who love them. I know it is hard to watch. I'm there. And on the days I'm discouraged with my own relationships I have to choose to believe that my worth is found in christ and no one can take that away from me. Hang in there champs.

falling and learning to trust

DO you ever just have those days? Like everything possible that is good happens, yet at the end of the day you just lose it? Life on the outside looks great, but really its not and you want it to really be good again...the hole in your heart is not filled. You know that ultimately the only one who can fill it is God, but in that moment you just want someone to be there; hug you, hold you, let you scream, kick, and cry and not tell you for the millionth time that its all gunna be ok because you know in the end you are gunna be ok, but in the moment you just wanna tell em to shut it? is it really gunna be ok? Are you gunna make it thru the night? yes. yes and yes. Would it just make life better if you could see where you are going and not have to trust that it was gunna be ok? YES! maybe. Trust...its kinda a big concept if you think about it. When you trust someone you are putting faith in them that they know what is best and they are going to help you through it. They are going to keep you safe. God is gunna teach you, lead you, love you, push you, test you....

New year, New start

School starts monday...this summer flew by. It was more of a growing summer that I could have ever imagined it to be. Kamp taught me about...forgiveness, grace, mercy, second chances, how we all have junk to deal with and each deal with it differently. It also taught me more how to love the unloveable. That is a hard lesson for me to learn especially when it hits close to home. Now summer is ending and I have a year and a half left of school..and still have no idea what I am going to do when I graduate. I learned this summer what my passions are... and that is encouraging. I have been praying for the Lord to reveal what I am mos passionate about and this summer he showed me. So cool how he works. Now I have to figure out how it correlates to my major and my life outside of school. That I have no clue. New school years are always kinda unnerving for me...new classes, new friends, new everything. I dont want to waste the time i have left at school. I want to make a difference there. I want to leave my mark on this place. Durango is home for me...well my second home. I love the place...everything about it (except maybe that is it a stinkin small town). I am learning to give my loved ones to the Lord because only through him comes redemption. Still a huge lesson to learn...so not there yet. I try and help him out but he does not need my help. He came and suffered the most painful death so that he could save the world. Life is a process. I cant wait for this school year to start. I pray that the Lord continues to reveal his plans for me and my life.

Letting Go Of The Life I Planned For Me

I’m letting go
Of the life I planned for me
And my dreams
Losing control
Of my destiny
Feels like I’m falling and that’s what it’s like to believe
So I’m letting go

This is a giant leap of faith
Trusting and trying to embrace

The fear of the unknown
Beyond my comfort zone



Been doin some more thinking lately. In 18 days I turn 22. OLD! WOW! Never thought I'd actually make it this far. Looking back I had many plans for my life that I was convinced would come true at the age of 22. You can ask all my friends I grew up with. I was convinced I'd be married at 22 because my mom and dad were, so of course I wanted to be. I thought I would be done with school... i still have about a year and a half left. There are many more, but those were the main one. This song above really describes where I am right now. Letting of the life Ive planned for me and my dreams. I have to give them up to God, knowing that His plan for me is so much better than my plan.

If I had my own way, I would not be at Fort Lewis, I would not be in school, and I would be married. But God wanted it another way. I am at Fort lewis, where I have met some of the most amazing people and have grow more in my walk than ever. I am still in school, which means I have my eligibility to play lacrosse, on a team that needs me. And I am not married, which means that He is still out there, but that I get to become more of my own person...which is an exciting thought.


NOt a long post...just some things that have been on my mind.

Ministry

Ministry- the unofficial, untabulated, little loving-kindnesses of life.
What does this mean for us? I’m still trying to figure out what this means exactly. We are called to go and witness to the world. The Young’s concordance gave this definition of ministry. Seems to me that this is NOT beating people over the head telling then that if they were to die tomorrow and are not a Christian, they are going to hell. This seems much more like being a servant to those who need it. WE need to engage people’s heart, but doing it by threatening them with hell is not the way Christ did it. He sat with those who were crying, hurting, stealing, abusing etc. He knew how to get to the core of the matter…whatever they were dealing with. He knew how to draw them out to talk about it. He knew… I want to know. I want to be more like him in every way. I want to be able to sit and listen to those who no one else will listen to. I want to know how to engage their hearts to meet them right where they are in their struggle, because EVERYONE is struggling. I want to know how to get to the core of the matter, draw it out into the light and help them destroy it. As much as I want to do that for someone else…I want someone to do it with me/for me. Everyone needs someone or a group of someones.

How do we accomplish this ministry thing? My biggest, or one of my biggest problems is not the loving and listening (even though I struggle every day..im more gifted with this) mine is the engaging the heart and asking the hard questions..why? Cause I don’t want to ‘ruin’ the friendship. I don’t want them to look at me weird. I don’t want them to reject me. WHY am I afraid??? I shouldn’t be. I have the answers for life! I have the best secret…it should not be the best kept secret…it should be the worst kept secret that JESUS CHRIST DIED for YOU and can/will/wants to give YOU eternal life! He loves you forever and always. Why am are/are we afraid to share this? I want to get over this fear of I don’t know how to label it, but it has to end…today, Right NOW! Jesus tells us that this journey will be hard but that he is always with us…and will never leave. He is there to help us always.

He is there to satisfy. There is a song called hungry.

Hungry I come to you for I know you satisfy, I am empty but I know your love will not run dry. So I wait for you. So I wait for you. IM falling on my knees, offering al of me, jesus you’re all this heart is loving for. Broken I run to you for your arms are open wide, I am weary but I know your touch restores my life, so I wait for you.

If we come to him hungry he is here to fulfill us.

We have been given a gift that was not meant to be kept to ourselves. It was given in order that those who have it pass it on to the next person. He gave us the gift of grace. Eph. 2:8-9 says, “For GRACE you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing, it is the gift of God, not a result of works so that no one may boast.” WE have a free gift…no NEED TO hide it any longer.

I have such a long way to go, but I wanted to write to encourage all of you out there who want the same thing. WE can make a difference on the college campus we are on or the work place or wherever you are.

Crying Out for Love

This is a continuing theme this semester...Loving those who need love... Why are we not doing it? Why are we only staying in our own niche? WE HAVE to go where it is "unsafe" and where we feel "out of our comfort zones. We can't play it safe anymore...it is time as christians to make a stand...here on campus...where ever you are... take the "leap" of faith..christ will catch you if you fall. Take this step with me...im scared, scared of losing friends, of what people might think, if i have the answers they need and not afraid to admit it. But i also know that with christ, nothing else matters. It doesn't matter what people think about me, what they tell other people about me...anything. He is the only one who matter. We have to do this. If we were all to die tomorrow, how many of your friends would be goin with you? and if it is not all of them, then we still have work to do! So let's ban together and do this. Let's start something so incredible on this campus people dont know what happened and they start to ask and wonder what we have that sets us apart.
Come on this journey with me.

We aren't guaranteed tomorrow

I just got news that breaks my heart. A friend from my school (middle school/HS) just died. HOW? I dont know yet...but she is gone and there is nothing that I can do to change that. It is a harsh reminder that life is PRECIOUS!!!! We dont know when we will breathe our last breath. WE are NOT guaranteed tomorrow! So some that is the exciting part of life...they never know what is coming next...but for others it is a scary reality. What are we here on earth to do? Everything we are supposed to do is done to glorify our Father! He is our creator. He gave us the breath of life and he can take it away. Why spend our time on earth drunk, high, etc? WHY? I don't get it!!! You have no idea when your last breath will be..why use it that way? Some say live life to the fullest, try everything you can.... THis just doesn't make sense to me...Shouldn't it be spent furthering the kingdom? or at least something that is good for you. I dont have all the answers...Just a lot of thoughts.
Rebecca...you will be missed!!!!!!!! I bet heaven is having a party with you right now! So glad that I got to know you!

Audience of ONE

I come on my knees
To lay down before you
Bringing all that I am
Longing only to know you
Seeking your face
And not only your hand
I find you embracing me
Just as I am

And I lift these songs
To you and you alone
As I sing to you
In my praises make your home

Chorus:
To my audience of one
You are Father, and you are Son
As your spirit flows free,
Let it find within me
A heart that beats to praise you.
And now just to know you more
Has become my great reward
To see your kingdom come
And your will be done
I only desire to be yours,
Lord

So what could I bring
To honor your majesty
What song could I sing
That would move the heart of royalty
And all that I have
Is the life that you’ve given me
So Lord let me live for you
My song with humility

And Lord as the love song
Of my life is played
I have one desire
To bring glory to your name

CHORUS

And we lift these songs
To you and you alone
As we sing to you
In our praises make your home

THis song has made a big impression on me over the last few weeks. As an athlete I tend to get lost in it. I start playing for my coach, and for myself, and for my teammates, but after this song multiple times I realized that I needed to get my priorities in check again. The chorus says, "To my audience of one...I only desire to be yours,Lord." The ONLY one I am playing for is christ. He is the one who gave me my talent and without Him I am nothing. In the bible is says to do everything for the glory of God, and that includes being an athlete. I dont really have much to write about it...i just had thoughts bouncing around in my head...

What is the point?

What is the point of being a christian if you're not gunna share the love you have been given with the world. What's the point if you are gunna hide among those who are like you" and easy to be with? What's the point if you can't love those who seem unlovable? What's the point?
We are not on this earth to only be with people who are like us. God told is to "Go and make disciples of ALL nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit." Matthew 28:19. He also calls us to take care of the widows and orphans, " Religion that is pure and undefiled before Gd, the Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction..." James 1:27. SO what are you doing??? What are we doing on campus to MAKE the difference? Why do so many of us only want to hang with those who look nice, or who have the right clothes, or who are in the right crowd, or say the right things?

I can't think of any place in the bible where Jesus told us to do that, or made an example out of himself for us to imitate. Jesus' best friends were the tax collectors and the fisherman, and the liars and thieves. He came to the broken to heal them, not to the rich and the "i have it all together." I'm not saying that we should be best friends with the people who are only going to lead us in the wrong path....but maybe part of me is saying that...to an extent. GET your hands dirty. Befriend someone you DONT like or someone you NEVER thought you would get along with because you NEVER know what is going on in their lives. MAybe they need you ....or someone to reach out to them and bring them into the light. MAybe you are the one to make the difference between heaven and hell for them. There are people who pretend to have it all together, and appear to be unbroken, when really they are dying inside, waiting for someone to come and release them!

So I want to ask again...what is the point? Why are we doing this christian thing if we arent willing to go deep with someone who needs it, someone who everyone else hates? Someone who is so angry they push everyone away, but instead of leaving you stay and you hang in there with them, telling them it will be ok! And that you WILL be there with them, even though it hurts, even though you (yourself) have no idea who you are gunna make it through because this person is sooo difficult it wears you out.

What is the point? I am soo tired of seeing people push the unlovable away... What if you were that person? What if it was you instead of them? What if no one wanted to be your friend because you looked funny, or dressed in shabby clothes, or never said the right thing at the right time, or....you can think of other scenarios. Put yourself in their postition. Christ died for the UNLOVABLE! We were once unlovable....and then He came and died for us...and made us new...and that is what he calls us to do for the world... you might only touch the lives of one or a handful or people....but you made the difference.

Calling All Prayer Warriors.

Calling all prayer warriors.
Over the last few weeks my heart has been at peace, yet still heavy. I have a friend who is hitting rock bottom and I need you guys to be prayin for him!!!! The story is long, complicated, and personal, but all you guys need to know is there is someone here who is lost, lonely, and hurting, who needs our prayers. I believe with my entire being that God hears our prayers and in his time answers them. He tells us that when 2 or more are gathered in his name he is there! We are also called to rally around those who are hurting and in need. I CAN'T do this alone! I need your help! So if you happen to read this, please pray for my friend and for him to find a new life...one full of joy! It is a long hard road, but i truly believe if he wants it (and its God's will) he can have it!
Thanks for those of you who read this and are praying with me!

The Final Count

Had a lot of people quit for many reason, but this is the fantastic 15.

Wanting to make the difference.

Do you ever wonder if you are making a difference in the world you live in, the people you see, the situations you are in? I do. We are on this earth for a reason...to be lights in a dark dying place. Christ came and died, defeated death, just so that we could regain our perfect relationship with him, so that we can live with him in eternity! How awesome of a thought is that? He died to give us life. He endured more pain than any of us could imagine just for us. That thought brings a smile to my face! When Christ left the earth he left us with the holy spirit and the great commission, to go and make disciples of all nations...teaching them to observe all that he has commanded us. "Behold I am with you always, to the end of the age." (Matt 28:19-20) We are to make disciples....How the heck do we do that? I've been thinking a lot about it lately. How do you share the incredible gift we have been given without scaring people off? So many people want nothing to do with christianity. How do we do it?

I still dont have the winning combination, but I do know that everyone wants to be loved. I dont know how many times i have written it. But it is so true. I was talking to a friend tonight about this. How do we care about people even when we disagree with them? From personal experience, most people dont want to be told they are wrong (sometimes it is because they know they are wrong, and other times it is because they dont think they are wrong at all...we are all like that!) but they all want someone to sit and listen...maybe not even say anything at all...just listen and love them. Why is this such a hard thing for us to do? Why do we always have to assert our own opinion? Why can we not just let someone be how they are...and accept them as they are...good and the bad? That is what Christ has done for each of us. NO one is perfect...if we were there would be no need for a savior...we all have our faults, but does God disown us because of them? NO instead he died for us. Laid down his life (his perfect life for our imperfect one). We have been given love that is unfathomable, so that we can turn and give it to someone else who needs it more than we do! From experience, you share more about who you are through what you do, than from what you say. You can say you believe in God all you want..but people will never let you in until they see the difference...see that you are gunna stick with them NO MATTER WHAT, through whatever they are going though. We are here to live life with people, to come along side of them and just be there.

So how do we make the difference? I think it is loving the unlovable through whatever they are going through. Is this hard? OH yeah! Is it painful? My heart breaks for what breaks theirs. Do you ever want to quit on em and tell em to get outta your life? Fo SHo! But in the end is the race worth running and fighting for? YES! we might never get to see the end result...may never get to get the glimpse of the kingdom with them, but we know that we have fight the good fight and run the good race with them. The journey is long and hard, but we will be rewarded in heaven! Im still trying to figure this out...but this is what I have come up with so far...