Wanting to make the difference.

Do you ever wonder if you are making a difference in the world you live in, the people you see, the situations you are in? I do. We are on this earth for a reason...to be lights in a dark dying place. Christ came and died, defeated death, just so that we could regain our perfect relationship with him, so that we can live with him in eternity! How awesome of a thought is that? He died to give us life. He endured more pain than any of us could imagine just for us. That thought brings a smile to my face! When Christ left the earth he left us with the holy spirit and the great commission, to go and make disciples of all nations...teaching them to observe all that he has commanded us. "Behold I am with you always, to the end of the age." (Matt 28:19-20) We are to make disciples....How the heck do we do that? I've been thinking a lot about it lately. How do you share the incredible gift we have been given without scaring people off? So many people want nothing to do with christianity. How do we do it?

I still dont have the winning combination, but I do know that everyone wants to be loved. I dont know how many times i have written it. But it is so true. I was talking to a friend tonight about this. How do we care about people even when we disagree with them? From personal experience, most people dont want to be told they are wrong (sometimes it is because they know they are wrong, and other times it is because they dont think they are wrong at all...we are all like that!) but they all want someone to sit and listen...maybe not even say anything at all...just listen and love them. Why is this such a hard thing for us to do? Why do we always have to assert our own opinion? Why can we not just let someone be how they are...and accept them as they are...good and the bad? That is what Christ has done for each of us. NO one is perfect...if we were there would be no need for a savior...we all have our faults, but does God disown us because of them? NO instead he died for us. Laid down his life (his perfect life for our imperfect one). We have been given love that is unfathomable, so that we can turn and give it to someone else who needs it more than we do! From experience, you share more about who you are through what you do, than from what you say. You can say you believe in God all you want..but people will never let you in until they see the difference...see that you are gunna stick with them NO MATTER WHAT, through whatever they are going though. We are here to live life with people, to come along side of them and just be there.

So how do we make the difference? I think it is loving the unlovable through whatever they are going through. Is this hard? OH yeah! Is it painful? My heart breaks for what breaks theirs. Do you ever want to quit on em and tell em to get outta your life? Fo SHo! But in the end is the race worth running and fighting for? YES! we might never get to see the end result...may never get to get the glimpse of the kingdom with them, but we know that we have fight the good fight and run the good race with them. The journey is long and hard, but we will be rewarded in heaven! Im still trying to figure this out...but this is what I have come up with so far...

What man desires the most.

Over the last semester it has become more apparent to me that everyone, no matter who they are: athlete, daughter, husband, coach, professor, friend, brother, just want to be loved. Everything inside us yearns to be loved. We want to know that each of us is desirable to someone else. We want to be cherished. We want to have people like us, more importantly LOVE us. Every girl dreams about her prince, who she hopes one day will be everything she imagined and more, to romance her in the most beautiful romance. Every man wants a woman to find his attractive and lovable. It its ingrained into our souls. Why?

I believe this is because we have a creator who made us in his image. God is love, and if this is so, love is his character. Made in his image we inherit this characteristic from the greatest lover in history...we are designed to love. WE are made to love others and want to be loved in return. Then sin entered the world along with hate, hurt, discomfort, insecurity, neediness, loneliness. And man fell. He began to kill his brother, lie to his mother, curse God. Love seemed impossible, but there was a promise made that was foretold many years before it came true about a savior who would conquer death and bring love to a broken world. Jesus came as the perfect example of love. He loved the unlovable, showing us that EVERYONE is worthy of love: The homeless, the liars, the cheaters, the fatherless, the unemployed, the broken hearted, the one plagued by the past, ones who are tormented in their sleep, the lonely...EVERYONE is worth being loved. He showed us that. Love is patient, love is kind, it does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud, it is not self seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no records of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres...Love never fails. This is what jesus tells us love is.

For many this definition seems so far away that they dont even know how to achieve it. HOW? recently a friend reminded me that you become like the people you hang out with. If you hang out with people who are constantly causing you to stumble, sooner or later you will be like them. But if you hang out with your best friends who bring you up and encourage you in the truth, you will be like them and see the difference. Similarly, if you dwell on God's words, slowly you will begin to become more like Christ. WE will begin to imitate how he lived, instead of the people who look cool, but in the end are not feeding our soul good food. I realize that I need and want to be more like my heavenly father. I want to love like him. I have been given so much, and to those whom much is given, much is required. I know what it is like to be loved and to be held by christ, and it is his command to give it away to other. But we cant give it away until we have learned to let ourselves be loved by him. If you cant receive his love, how in the world will you be able to give it away?

This is a challenge for all of us out there.... Let's learn to love how our father loved us. Let's learn to be patient with those who we feel are unlovable. Let's serve those who are in need the most. Christ died the most painful death to show us what love is...we can give back the love to those who are in desperate need of it.

All truth is RELATIVE??

(Man, see some folks say, "All truth is relative, it just depends on what you believe." You know, "hey man, ain't no way to know for sure who God is or what's really true." But that means you believe your own statement; that there's no way to know what's really true. You're saying that that statement is true. You're killing yourself. If what's true for you is true for you and what's true for me is true for me, what if my truth says your's is a lie? Is it still true? Come on man!)

These lyrics have been on my mind a lot lately. I've been doin alot of thinking...trying to make more sense out of the world I live in. A world where talking about Christ is...well...a difficult thing to talk about. One argument I have come up against is, "It all relative. Everyone believes something different. Whatever works for you." BUt is this statement really true? It is logical? If someone says there isnt any way to know if God exists...is that a relative statement? or is it an absolute statement followed by a relative statement? If you say there is no way to know...that is an absolute. Doesnt this argument seem faulty? I don't know if I am making any sense of this...but I have been thinking about it a lot...

We live in a world of absolutes. You cheat, you are punished. You steal, you pay for it. You run, you get stronger. You take care of your body, you are healthy. These are If-Then statements. We all have a built in moral compass. When we are wronged we want justice. So why is it when it comes to religion/faith that people get all antsy and begin to say whatever works for you???

9 weeks...

Its been about 9 weeks since she left for El Salvador. And it has been the longest 9 weeks of my life....some of the best weeks of my life...but some of the hardest. I feel like my better half, the one person who probably knows me better than anyone else, is missing and she is. She is serving the Lord in El Salvador. She is the candle in the dark place and I am so excited that she gets to be there! It is selfish of me to wish she was back in the states so that I could call her a million times a day just to talk about the same thing over and over..haha... She is and will always be my best friend. Today is a lonely day for me and that is why I miss her even more, but it dawned on me tonight as i was thinking that i was making her a top priority, when I should be making GOD my top priority. He is the one who will always be there...until then end of time and for eternity. It is easy to get caught up in the things of this world. I laughed at myself when it occurred to me that the statement people make about its easy to love God in the easy times, but when it gets tough we turn to other things or people to fill the hurt. So this time of loneliness is really one of the best gifts given to me. I am continually learning to put my trust in my Heavenly Father, rather that things of the world. HARD lesson for me to learn today.

Words of Wisdom

To laugh is to risk...appearing the fool
To weep is to risk...appearing sentimental
To reach out for another is to risk...involvement
To exposefeelings is to risk...exposing our true self
To place your ideas, you dreams before a crown is to risk their loss
To LOVE is to risk dying
To Hope is to risk failure.

But risks must be taken
Because the greatest Hazard in life is to risk nothing at all
If you risk nothing and do nothing...you dull your spirit
You may avoid suffering and sorrow...But you cannot lear, feel, grow, love and Live
Chained by your attitude, you are a slave
you have forfeited your freedom

Only if you risk are you FREE

Funny How GOd Works

The picture you see is my NEW LAX TEAM!!!!

This morning I was reading through my past blogs and the one i wrote about being restless made me laugh when I read it. It is funny how God works. Little did I know then, but he as preparing me for what was to happen in the future...only months after i wrote it. I dont need to repeat the story...but God was preparing my heart for the transfer that I just made. Here I can already feel God at work in my life...I am still amazed at all the things he has done for me in the last 2 months!

Overwhelmed by His love for me

Starting about 2 months ago I had no a Idea where I would be this year for school or if i would even be in school this semester. I had to transfer from Colorado College to....somewhere. I was at kamp aka Kanakuk Colorado now called Camp Kivu. I was on a day off and got the dreaded phone call saying i needed to transfer. I felt like my heart was breaking and everything brought me to tears. About three days later there was a calm and a peace that came over me that only could have been from God because my flesh wanted to freak out. Through out my last weeks at kamp I applied to three school, UCCS (in the springs), Univ. of Memphis, and I reluctantly applied to Fort Lewis College (durango) thanks for a few people encouraging me to do so. I was completely against the idea of Fort Lewis for no really good reason, i just didnt want to go there. So I got home from kamp and i was still not accepted by any schools and the clock was ticking...school started at UCCS in a week and at memphis and Ft. Lewis, 2 weeks. I had NO idea what to do. Still through this there was a peace about it. For some reason I started talking to the Ft. Lewis lacrosse coach...I played at CC and loved it and had decided I wasnt ready to give it up yet. Kelley, my new coach, sounded interested in me ..so I thought, "why not give it a shot? Maybe God has plans for me that I had not made for myself." So the clock was still ticking...6 days til school started...it started to look like University of Memphis was the only school left...and God knows as well as everyone else knew i did not want to go there...Kelley, from Ft. Lewis, kept pushing for my admission and then started talking SCHOLARSHIP MONEY!! those were two words that were music to my ears. Now we were talking...5 days til school started...Kelley really wanted me there and I was unofficially admitted....she would give me money to play. So i talked to dad, who still was not convinced by the information i was able to give him. God always has everything under control... that night a few friends came over and he started talking to them about what school i should go to. By the end of the conversation he was 95% convinced that Ft. Lewis was the best option. 4 days til school starts. I call Kelley to check on some last minute things and then tell her I am coming... God showed the then that he had plans for me i had never dreamed of and he was beginning to reveal them to me. ok..how am i getting to school? I decided then that if God could provide a way for me to get there, it was meant to happen. 2 days before school starts I arrive in Durango, Colorado. ALWAYS wanted to live here, never thought I would.
School starts and I feel completely overwhelmed...I have 5 hard classes, all of which I need to get into the major I "think" I want...don't know anyone...desperately want a good christian community and friends...etc. Funny how God works. I have learned that when you surrender your plans for God, he will bless you beyond what you can ever imagine, with things that blow your mind. The second day of school..one of my Kamp friends, Jordan, takes me to Connect (a campus ministry). it seemed to me that christians didn't really exist at many schools in CO...FALSE..I am surrounded by christians here..more than I ever imagined. I am even in class with some of them. Friends....It normally takes me time to make friends and feel comfortable with people...here the freshman on my lacrosse team have embraced me and made it a point to include me. What is even cooler is that I learned yesterday one of them is a christian...How COOL is that? God is so powerful!!! I have never played on a team with another christian...someone who can encourage me in the way that I want to go and I can be there for her when she needs it. Another way God has blessed me....I went to visit friends at CC and while I was there I realize that in as many ways CC was good for me and an incredible growing experience, but it was time for a change. There were people there, who instead of helping me excel, were causing me to stumble and dwell on things of the past. I miss my best friend, Jessica, she is such a blessing to me and I love that God has brought her into my life, but it was time to go. Today, life started to slow down...and a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. Deep Sigh of relief.
Another thing God has been teaching me is that I can't rely on my friends and other people for the comfort I am seeking...It is between me and God. He is my Shepherd, my protector, healer, savior, comforter, provider. I didn't realize I had a problem doing this until my best friend, Erin, left this semester to be in El Salvador, with NO PHONE and really not much internet. She has been there for me ALWAYS, NO MATTER WHAT!! and now she isnt...and that's no Fault to her...Just how life goes.... It has turned out to be the biggest growing experience and blessing. God has show me that I can do it without everyone else there...I dont need to turn to a friend when I am in need (of course everyone does and needs to sometimes, but not all the time).
OK..so after writing all of this...what I want to say is...God has the power to do anything and will blow your mind when you least expect it and is there to comfort you when you are lost! this year is going to be phenomenal and I cant wait to share what he will continue to do in my life.

"The Peace of God that surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus." Phil 4:7