Letting Go

I have come to realize in the last months that there is a theme that keeps reoccurring in my life and that is LETTING GO of things that I have no control over. I also realize that I am terrible at it and wonder why I am continually being called to give up the things that I care about the most. Maybe it is because I put them above taking care of myself and my relationship with my father that will never end. Maybe this is all to help me learn even more every day how much that I cannot do anything by myself but it is through God's grace that I am able to do anything. This is still something that I have to work on and at times letting go is a struggle because it means that I am not in control and I have to surrender.

here is a poem that I saw...


To let go does not mean to stop caring,
it means I can't do it for someone else.
To let go is not to cut myself off,
it's the realization I can't control another.
To let go is not to enable,
but allow learning from natural consequences.
To let go is to admit powerlessness, which means
the outcome is not in my hands.
To let go is not to try to change or blame another,
it's to make the most of myself.
To let go is not to care for,
but to care about.
To let go is not to fix,
but to be supportive.
To let go is not to judge,
but to allow another to be a human being.
To let go is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcomes,
but to allow others to affect their destinies.
To let go is not to be protective,
it's to permit another to face reality.
To let go is not to deny,
but to accept.
To let go is not to adjust everything to my desires,
but to take each day as it comes and cherish myself in it.
To let go is not to regret the past,
but to grow and live for the future.
To let go is to fear less and love more
because: The time to love is short

I am so thankful everyday for God's promise that he will never leave me!!

They were walking hand in hand

As I was studying tonight in my room, which has a great view of the mountains and of all the other surrounding dorms, I saw an elderly couple walking towards the stadium hand in hand. You don't see that much these days. It seems to me that there are more divorces now than ever before. It seems that we have forgotten what marriage is all about. We get married now and for many as soon as trouble comes the couple splits...leaving some families with disaster. Seeing that couple tonight brought a smile to my face and gave me hope for the future... that a marriage can last when it is set on a firm foundation... Jesus Christ. My parents have been a great example for me of a couple who deeply loves each other even through each other's blemishes and circumstances that can seem impossible. It is not always flowers and good times... but they have shown me that two people can make it, even in a society that we have today that tells us that if we aren't happy... then we should do whatever it takes to make us happy. False... God never told us that life would be easy... in fact he tells us beginning at the fall of man that life will be really hard, but he gives us his promise that he will never leave us nor forsake us. If our marriages are founded on Him, then no matter what happens... we can make it. Yeah there may be scars, but with Him, he will carry us through those times and heal our hearts... all with his perfect timing. I hope that we can learn from the generations before us... they have set a good example for us in a society that is turning way.

Moses

Have you ever been asked questions about what you believe in and you should be able to give an answer but you just get all tongue tide? Pick me!! Lately I have been questioned a lot about my faith...and to be honest.. it is really frustrating to be asked a question that the answer seems like a "No Duh" answer to me and should be able to give an answer, but instead I stumble almost every time. I feel like Moses when God told him to go back to Egypt and tell the Pharaoh to let his people go and he protested saying that he was not good with words, when really all he needed to do was say, "Ok God, I trust you!" I feel inadequate when asked about my faith if it is not an "easy" answer. I don't know what God is teaching me, but I know that right now it is a frustrating process, cause I get made fun of..all in jest... but it really hits home these days.

Perfect timing

God brings us friends when we need them. And sometimes it is when we least expect it, but we are in great need. I have a friend who helped me conqueror a "demon" that has been troubling me for MONTHS! My parents and friends had been telling me the same thing for months, but it wasn't until we met that what was said to me just made sense even though I did not like it. For the first time it felt like the right thing to to. And it came from a person, who to be honest I didn't think we would be friends, but I was wrong. And am glad that I was. God's timing can come at the most random times. I am glad to know that I can always be assured that he will be there for me no matter what. God is an awesome God!

Can anybody hear her?

Have you ever lost a best friend? Have you ever experienced the ache deep down when you know that you can't just call them on the phone to vent to them, or when you need advice, or just someone to listen? Did it ever feel like a part of you was just not there? What do you do with that? Do you shove it away to be apart of the past? Or do you keep it with you knowing that for some reason that you aren't sure of yet, it was worth it? Do you ever wonder where things went wrong and how you could have changed it? I'm still trying to figure it all out. The one thing that I do know is that my heavenly Father loves me more than anyone and will be there to catch me and set me back on my feet again. He is my comfort and my strength.

An island in His hands

Have you ever stood in a crowd of people and felt completely alone? Have you ever had people look at you funny because they know you are different and don't know how to treat you? Tonight felt like that. I was with a group of friends listening to a band surrounded by a lot of people and felt like I was on an island. Is this what it is like to be a Christian? Are we to stand alone knowing that people may look at us weird and leave us out? Yet we still have to lift our heads high and go on knowing we are doing His work? That's what life is supposed to be.
God called us to serve him no matter what. He told us that the world may hate us but that we were to follow him no matter what because that reward will be greater than we will ever be able to imagine. We will spend our eternity with him! He never told us that it would be easy...He knows that there will be times that it will seem to be impossible, but I was reminded by a friend that God never gives us anything we can't handle. He knows what we are capable of handling and knows that we will make it out the other side relying more on him than we ever did before. He wants to draw us closer to himself even if it hurts. He will never let us go no matter what! He loves us that much. That is what I have to keep reminding myself of... Im here for a purpose and I can handle whatever comes my way!

Life is PRECIOUS

Today tornadoes ripped through Tennessee. Many people are now without homes and loved ones. One moment life goes on life normal and the next thing we know is that we are running for cover praying that we will live to see the next day. Tonight a tornado hit Union University destroying dorm and leaving people with nothing. One of my best friends goes there and she told the story to us tonight. This is what she said. "Hey yall,
I cannot describe what life was like tonight. I can now say I have been in the middle of a funnel and survived by the grace of God. I left my top floor dorm room and went to a friends in the first floor of the building across from us. About 10 minutes later me and ten other girls were squeezed in the bathroom/hallway of the dorm. The tv said we had about 15 minutes before it would hit so we took one last look out the window of the bedroom right next to the bathroom. I saw the funnel coming towards us and the next thing I see is blue and green light all around me. Later found out that was the lightning in the middle of the funnel or the tornadoe. We screamed and somehow the pressure and the wind oushed us all back to the bathroom. This all happened within a split second. My head felt like it was about to pop, the pressure was so bad. Glass was flying everywhere. The ceiling fell in and water was falling on top of us. A couch fell on top of one of us, but she is ok. It was pitch dark and what was left of the ceiling was falling in on us and water was filling up the bathroom. We were in the bathroom for about 40 minutes. We looked back in the room we were in when the tornadoe hit and it was no longer there. I survived by the grace of God. Firemen helped us out of the rubble and i will never forget what I saw next. The bathroom wall that we were in was the last wall standing of our dorm room. girls were being dug out of the room next to us. It was unbelieveable. Everysingle girls dorm room was ruined, but my building was hit the hardest. I have not seen my room but I have been informed that it is no longer there. I have to go , but I wlill finish later! Pray!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Crazy huh? I think we all take our lives for granted and for many of us it takes life threatening situations like these for us to realize how precious our life is. I wish it didnt take events like this to wake us up.

Faith like a child

Have you ever gone to a foreign country for an extended period of time? I have! I went to a counrty I never imagaine I would go to. I lived in Costa Rica for two months. It's beauty is breathtaking. Everywhere you go you are surrounded by Christ's creation! There are parts of this country that are incredible like the Teatro Nacional. It is incredible. I believe it is the oldest building there built in 1886 I think. And there are other parts of the country only blocks away that will make your heart bleed! There is poverty that is soooo apparent and strong that you dont know what to do. You dont know whether to pity these people, walk away and let them live that way, hold your nose and suck it up, or to greet the kids who will run up to you with a hug. I chose to greet the kids with a hug. I believe that is what we are called to do by Christ! Love those who need to be loved! You want to pity these people but then you realize that there is no time for that! there is only time for love and to take the time that is left to help them is they want help because many do NOT want help. they are so comfortable with the ways in which they live that the thought of changing is a horrible thought. You may think that I'm kidding...or you may be thinking.."These people have nothing, who live in houses made out of trash, whose lives are probably filled with prostitution and drug abuse, why wouldn't they welcome help?" For the same reasons that those of us here in the States dont want to change..because we have been living that way for so long that we don't know how to change and are comfortable with it. Sounds sad isnt it? Well it is even more so to see it first hand. I wanted so much to help them, but there was so much need and well I am only me. :)
The funny thing is...is that many of the children have a joy that not many in the States posesses. Its hard to describe. These children have nothing and yet they can find joy in the simplest things...something that we have long lost. Children are fastenating. They have a sense of wonder about them that is almost mind boggling. They create stories out of nothing. A tree branch is quickly turned into a magnificant steed for a boy who has turned into the knight in shining armour and a strand of flowers turns into a beautiful diamond crown fit for a queen. Don't you wish that adults could still have an imagination and inocents like a child? There are days when friends may call me childish for wondering at the smallest things..but I like being open to wonder and dream! We were given imaginations to use them, not to squander them.

So now I am home and not sure what to do with everything that I have seen and learned. What can I do? What can the U.S.A. do to help people who are in such need?
There are so many organizations that need help! But sometimes it feels like I'm the only one who wants to help and I know that that is not true, but that is how it seems at times.